Find out from a Psychic if He’s Cheating

Posted on by Melissa Karnaze and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

This online advertisement has at least two messages. First, that a psychic would be able to tell a woman if her man is cheating. Second, that you have to ask someone else to find out if your partner’s unfaithful.

Cheating is a breach of trust, reneging on an unspoken (or spoken) agreement. But what happens when a woman doesn’t trust her man to tell her the truth when she asks him about his loyalty? Or if she doesn’t trust herself enough to put the pieces together — to answer the question on her own? (This ad calls for both of these behaviors, by the way.)

In the first case, she doesn’t have a healthy relationship to begin with. Which means, cheating is probably more likely to occur with this man than with a man who would tell the truth when asked about his loyalty.

In the second case, she doesn’t have a healthy relationship with herself. Which means, she’ll have trouble being emotionally intimate with any man anyway. And if she’s not emotionally intimate with this man, chances are he’s also not doing the emotional intimacy thing that makes monogamy possible. (If he wanted emotional intimacy, he wouldn’t be with her.) So for various other related reasons, this man’s more likely to wander without telling her — than a man who does demonstrate emotional intimacy.

Of course, asking a psychic, or a psychologist, or even a friend — is the normal thing to do when you get that suspicion. So says the media — which perpetuates cheating (as the social norm).

When you have a problem in your relationship, you go to the person with whom you’re in a relationship. (If you don’t, it’s not much of a relationship.)

The moment you go to someone outside of the relationship to fix it, you’ve obscured the problem. And maybe even cheated yourself. 

You Might Also Like

Related posts:

  1. The Infidelity Industry

9 Responses to Find out from a Psychic if He’s Cheating

  1. max says:

    Or in other words, next time you ask a psychic if you’re man is cheating, the answer is yes!

  2. Yep, short version. :P

    (Or at least (s)he’s doing something else that’s not good for the relationship.)

  3. Silvia says:

    Maybe there is a third message. And the message is that women are the kind of people who contact psychics to find out if their partners cheat.

  4. Sfon says:

    Talking to absolutely everyone except the offending person about what is wrong. Coming up with crazier and crazier theories over months or even years about it, complete with “I talked to (uninvolved person) and they think…”. Sometimes these are based on the most insignificant things, like that person simply having a weird laugh or pacing a lot. The more time goes on, the more likely it will seem that the only logical conclusion is something must be seriously wrong with them.

    Or they could simply talk to the person, but that would give them a chance to define themselves. Frightening enough in and of itself, yet making it worse is the risk that the reaction/explanation could be reasonable enough to dissolve the situation and leave no room for fantasy.

  5. Vigil says:

    Third message: free services are REAL!

    Regardless of your personal feelings on psychics and trust issues in relationships, pretty sure someone who’s willing to believe messages 1 and 2 is more likely to fall for 3. That’s who they’re preying on.

    For the rest of us, it’s just a reminder that all the cool psychics still come from the magical land of California.

    • izrik says:

      Actually, the website address is probably one of several, each linking to region-specific versions of the same content. That, or they may just be targeting California because it’s the most populous state.

  6. vprime says:

    I’ve been trying to put together my thoughts on the whole “emotional intimacy” thing. Because I’m not sure why one partner’s ability be be emotionally intimate would guarantee the intimacy of the other partner. In both scenarios described in the original post, the issue is that the hypothetical woman is experiencing the unreliability of knowledge. She cannot be sure she can trust herself or her partner. I think this is actually true of all relationships at heart, but we must proceed as though we are not aware of the gulf between us or we risk looking paranoid and becoming more isolated. I think emotional intimacy is the fiction that stands as the magic object here. As long as we tell ourselves we are engaging in emotional intimacy we will be safe from deceit, because through our intimacy we will “just know”– perhaps via ESP, much as the psychic claims to have– that something is wrong in the relationship.

    I think in this way, the ad also appeals to people who can say to themselves, “Good thing I don’t need such a service” by displaying the obvious distance between the two partners in the photo through their averted gazes. Imagine if the ad showed two people happily holding hands?

    • Because I’m not sure why one partner’s ability be be emotionally intimate would guarantee the intimacy of the other partner.

      I don’t think it does, which is why it wasn’t argued. :)

      Great point about trust. It’s a construct we can only validate or challenge over time and after the fact — based on information that’s never 100% \accurate.\ And perhaps why emotional intimacy is scary.

      As long as we tell ourselves we are engaging in emotional intimacy we will be safe from deceit, because through our intimacy we will “just know”– perhaps via ESP, much as the psychic claims to have– that something is wrong in the relationship.

      A psychic could just be a mentalist. And mentalism capitalizes on psychology. We’re all psychologists, at least unofficially.

      • vprime says:

        “I don’t think it does, which is why it wasn’t argued. :)”

        Ah, I see. Thanks for the clarifications. I guess this reveals my assumptions too.

Leave a Reply