How to become an instant heroine

Posted on by VikingKitten and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Oh no! A terrorist caused a plane diversion, but was apprehended without loss of life.

Wait. There was no explosive device? and he was drunk?

Let’s hear his side of the story. So he was pretty wasted and trying to impress a girl, and for some incomprehensible reason he thought the best way to do that was to make terrorist threats. “It was stupid of me. I’m a dumbass.” Yeah, dude, you certainly are.

The woman’s story seems pretty weird, even in the Commercial Appeal article.

Sisco is getting divorced, he said, and decided to put the moves on Valimont. When a flight attendant confronted him about being in the wrong seat, Sisco said he and Valimont were newlyweds.

Before Valimont could protest, the attendant moved on.

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but if a stranger on an airplane told the flight attendant I was newly married to him, this whole story would’ve stopped right there. Wait, maybe that’s why I’m not getting my 15 minutes of fame right now? Let’s go look at Valimont’s story.

This is a fine example of writing yourself a starring role in the security theater. Make sure you read to the end of Valimont’s post. She’s clearly a heroine in her own mind, and she’s barely able to pretend to give all the credit to her God.  

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3 Responses to How to become an instant heroine

  1. JohnJ says:

    It’s reminiscent of the “Hi, Jack!” scene in Airplane!

  2. Critropolitan says:

    not quiet right to lay all the ‘blame’ on Valimont, it seems that everyone involved in this story, including the news media, the cops, the courts, the prosecutors, the flight attendants and pilot, and even Sisco, all wanted to provoke the cultural meme of faux terrorism on a plane. None of them, clearly, really thought Sisco was a terrorist (why would the flight attendants let him remain at liberty in the passenger cabin if he was a true threat? Why would Valimont want to sit back down next to him and continue to chat away instead of just getting up and telling a flight attendant?) – but they all seemed to want to pretend, collectively, to think that this was about terrorism and not about some dude being a creep. That just makes for something more meaningful. They actually charged him with carrying a weapon or explosive on a plane, despite acknowledging that he had no weapon, no explosive, nothing.

    Its not just that though…the real “terrorists” in U.S. planes also seem to play into this meme through their inexplicable incompetence. Both the ‘shoe bomber’ and ‘underwear bomber’ moronically tried (or pretended to try, perhaps they didn’t want to die after all) to blow up their poorly constructed bombs *in their seats*, in public, where they’d attract attention and be stopped, rather than doing it in a lavatory – a choice that would be obvious to anyone who actually intended to blow themselves up successfully. You would also think that if they were serious about blowing themselves up, they would think to conduct a test of any explosive device before arriving at an airport. Both terrorist “attacks” seemed to be the suicide bombing equivalent of conventional suicide “attempts” committed by swallowing a double dose of children’s Tylenol after phoning an ambulance for a stomach pump.

  3. AdamSaleh1987 says:

    This story is plain nuts, for lack of a better description. Citropolitan made a good argument.