Are there any legitimately scary horror movies left?

Posted on by TheLastPsychiatrist . Bookmark the permalink.

 

I saw The Vow, that was pretty horrific.    But back and forth emails with pastabagel, and then this:

 

I saw Insidious.  The first half was genuinely creepy.  So if you want a good scary movie without any gore, watch the first half of Insidious.

Just turn off the movie when you first hear the phrase “astral projection.”

If you want Tim Burton-esque costumes and spooky psychics, with a lot of goth candelabras and tilted cameras and cackling witch laughter that wouldn’t scare a 6th grader, watch the second half.

Spoiler alert.  The scary thing is the devil.  But not like an Omen devil.  No, a clown devil like in a kids Bible comic. A red-faced guy with cloven hooves who stitches gowns on a sewing machine while listening to Tiptoe Through the Tulips by tiny tim.  I’m not making that up.  Then there is a transsexual witch thrown in to remind you of how much better Silence of the Lambs is than this.

What a pile of garbage.  And they made a second one.

I’m calling it now.  James Wan directing a Fast and Furious movie will kill the franchise, no matter how much Jason Statham he puts in it.

Watch V/H/S.

 

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8 Responses to Are there any legitimately scary horror movies left?

  1. Dodge says:

    v/h/s was just spooky/silly campfire stories.

  2. manisfive says:

    Are you guys watching American Horror Story? If no start with Asylum um right now

  3. CarbonCopy says:

    I thought Open Water 2 was scary as hell. Dying from stupidity actually happens.

  4. disposing says:

    Yes! Thank you. V/H/S is good. Not at all the REC 3 I thought it would be. Some of the POVs are like nothing else I’ve seen before.

  5. dovahkiin says:

    Movies aren’t scary anymore because it’s been turned into porn. The characters and the plot don’t really matter, so you don’t care. You just wait for the big, ugly, scary thing to show up. But without a character, the audience has very little to care about. They’re cannon fodder, and while they die graphically, there’s no reason anyone in the audience would give a crap about whether they live or die. As for the plot, in a related way, there’s often very little at stake, very little reason to be there, so there’s no reason to suspend disbelief long enough to be really scared. I just don’t get scared when I’m watching a movie about people I don’t care about doing horrifically stupid things while being chased by a giant CGI monster that looks obviously CGI.

    The Birds was scary for the opposite reasons. People involved were ordinary everyday people, and they weren’t stupid. The plot was more or less birds in town go crazy and start killing people. Good point #1, it gives people a good reason to be there — they live there. Good point #2, birds are not aliens with 16 eyes made of CGI.

  6. wishswudhavwings says:

    V/H/S was garbage. Misogynistic and devoid of any real suspense. The best segment was the last one i.e. the haunted house trip. The rest of it was stupid people making stupid decisions with lots of overtones of sexual assault.

  7. johnstricker says:

    Haven’t watched it myself, but apparently “Triangle” is scary.

  8. Jason says:

    “The Descent” and “Eden Lake” are two good recent horror movies that come to mind.

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