I saw The Vow, that was pretty horrific. But back and forth emails with pastabagel, and then this:
I saw Insidious. The first half was genuinely creepy. So if you want a good scary movie without any gore, watch the first half of Insidious.
Just turn off the movie when you first hear the phrase “astral projection.”
If you want Tim Burton-esque costumes and spooky psychics, with a lot of goth candelabras and tilted cameras and cackling witch laughter that wouldn’t scare a 6th grader, watch the second half.
Spoiler alert. The scary thing is the devil. But not like an Omen devil. No, a clown devil like in a kids Bible comic. A red-faced guy with cloven hooves who stitches gowns on a sewing machine while listening to Tiptoe Through the Tulips by tiny tim. I’m not making that up. Then there is a transsexual witch thrown in to remind you of how much better Silence of the Lambs is than this.
What a pile of garbage. And they made a second one.
I’m calling it now. James Wan directing a Fast and Furious movie will kill the franchise, no matter how much Jason Statham he puts in it.
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